Rev. Hillary Dawes, PhD, SC-C
“For
God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a
sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).
Fear of the
unknown, and its great power on us, was none the more evident than these past
two weeks, with the mystery of the missing Malaysian airline MH370, with all
its 239 passengers. Not only were
people fearful of what could have happened to their loved ones, but many were
fearful as to why the plane disappeared in the first place. The news media bombarded us with all kinds of
theories and speculative reports as to what could have happened. Social media was abuzz with conspiracy
theories. Reports ranged possible
terrorist attacks to abduction by aliens, and even the rapture. Hardly any scenario was left out of the imaginations
of people, as they tried to piece together what could have possibly happened to
that plane, and all its passengers.
Globally, the entire planet was gripped in fear as to what that missing
plane might mean for us. From the state of Israel taking extra precautions just in case the plane might come back as a missile to attack them, to other countries trying to assign blame
wherever possible – blame the pilots, blame politics, blame hijackers, blame
the Malaysian government. You name it;
there was lots of blame to go around.
One thing we have
learnt is that fear, once it takes a grip of you, has a life of its own. Fear always seeks out the thing that which it
fears to validate itself, even if it means making up stuff, and going out of
its way to try to prove that it is not unfounded. People see what they want to see, and believe
what they want to believe, based upon their OWN fears. Those who wanted to prove terrorism found
‘evidence’ of terrorism. Those who
wanted to prove hijacking found ‘evidence’ of hijacking. Those who wanted to prove the plane was
still around found ‘evidence’ of the plane.
For some reason, the plane loomed larger than real life, bigger than
reality, and became the bogeyman now to fear. The problem however with all these theories,
was that they sent false hope to the families of the victims, that their loved
ones could still be alive, only to have their hopes dashed with every false
lead. Because of all the false
reporting, and fear surrounding the reporting, many family members became suicidal, as they were hanging on to every last thread of hope that was thrown at them, only to have that hope taken away from them.
As a spiritual
counselor, part of my job is to bring comfort to those who are grieving, and to
bring them back to a place where they can deal with their emotions, and grieve
without falling into despair and hopelessness.
Psychologists have identified five stages of grieving, and they
are: denial, anger, bargaining,
depression, and acceptance. Proper
grieving involves going through all the stages until one reaches acceptance,
but many times people get stuck in one stage or the other, unable to reach that
place where they finally accept that their loved ones may be gone. As a spiritual counselor, I help them to
come to terms with their own beliefs as it relates to death and dying, and the
afterlife. Sometimes they may have
dreams, visions of their loved ones, or feelings that their loved ones are
still here and not dead. I help them to
process those feelings, and share scripture with them to bring them comfort and
closure. Sometimes deep down they
believe their loved ones are gone, and sometimes they are in denial, ignoring
all the facts presented, especially if there are no bodies to prove that their
loved ones are gone. In situations like
where there are no definitive answers as to where their loved ones could be, I
help them pray through their fears.
There is a lot of peace to be found in prayer. It also helps to know that someone is there
to give you support and help carry your burdens, so that you don’t have to bear
them all alone.
“Bear
ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).
Freedom from fear
means trusting in God that all things are working for your good, no matter how
terrible they look on the outside (Romans 8:28).
To have a trust like that takes deep faith and understanding, but once
you develop that trust, then everything will begin to come together for you,
and your mind will slowly be at peace. Freedom
from fear means putting away blame, anger, and bitterness, which only serves to
eat you up on the inside, creating more problems instead of solving them. Freedom from fear means understanding what
life is about, and how everything fits into God’s divine purpose, knowing that “it
is well” (2 Kings 4:26).
If you are
grieving because of you lost someone in your life, or you are struggling with
chronic anxiety because of fear, as a spiritual counselor, I can help you sort
out some of the spiritual questions you may have, and help you clear up any
confusion in your mind, as well as help you diffuse the stress associated with
fear and anxiety. In addition to grief
counseling, I coach you so that you can get your life back on track spiritually
and emotionally, by removing the negative effects and toxic emotions associated
with living in chronic fear and anxiety, with my three-week Spiritual Renewal
Coaching Program.
Spiritual Renewal
Coaching Program
The spiritual renewal
coaching program is divided into three sections which will address three areas
of your life where you can find relief for stress – physical, social, and
spiritual. This is a three-week program, but at the end of it all, you should
have less stress in your life, be better able to enjoy life, and most of all
find peace with God, yourself, and those around you.
The program outline
is as follows:-
WEEK ONE: Physical
relief
-Physical exercise, therapeutic touch, and affection
WEEK TWO: Social relief
-Social activities, gratitude, relationships
WEEK THREE: Spiritual
relief
- Worship, life goals, spiritual growth
