Friday, May 30, 2014

Emotional Baggage Removal Program (EBRP)

Rev. Hillary Dawes, PhD. SC-C

Emotional Baggage Removal Program (EBRP) is a spiritual coaching program designed to remove emotional baggage from past relationships out of your life, so that you don't carry it into any new relationship you may have, and ruin that relationship.   A lot of people go around carrying toxic emotions from past broken relationships, divorces, bad marriages, bad relationships, bad job situations, and emotionally traumatic childhood that creates dysfunctional relationship dynamics.  The emotional baggage causes them to attract more and more bad relationships, instead of  attracting the loving relationships they so much desire.  This is because you only attract your mirrors - a universal law.    So if you are carrying hate, anger, and bitterness on the inside, then you are going to attract more hate-filled, anger-filled, and bitter relationships in your life.   Your emotional baggage is going to unload itself in whatever relationship you are in, and create a toxic situation that only attracts more toxicity.    In order to change this around, so that you can attract more positive relationships, it is important therefore that you get rid of the emotional baggage that you are carrying around, and replace it with positive emotions.    "You attract what you are."  

EBRP gets rid of emotional baggage through spiritual counseling, as well as a series of spiritual practices that you do daily, that are designed to get rid of  your specific emotional baggage.   Spiritual practices include meditation/prayer, journaling, affirmations, physical activities, and sound/music therapy to name a few.   Spiritual practices are tailored to YOUR level of spirituality, and are in accordance with Universal Spiritual Law, common across all cultures and belief systems.   The five-week EBRP is as follows:

Week One:  Making Peace with Your Past
Week Two:  Increasing Love and Appreciation of Self
Week Three:  Increasing Positive Emotions
Week Four:  Making Peace with God (or the Universe)
Week Five:  Managing Stress in Relationships 

If you are interested in EBRP, please contact me on my website.

Friday, May 16, 2014


Rev. Hillary Dawes, PhD, SC-C

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28, KJV).

With such beautiful words as the promise in Matthew 11:28, one would think that living the Christian life would be stress free, or at least less stressful.   The truth is that many, many, many Christians are under tons of stress, and sometimes even more stress than before their conversion.   It's a really strange phenomenon that the supposedly care-free Christian life is filled with so much stress!  I think one of the major reasons for this is that many of us do not know how to balance work and rest.  We are constantly on the go, doing this and doing that, and if that is not bad enough, our minds are constantly working, processing a million thoughts non-stop.   Add to that the cares of life and the consciousness of sinning, and you have a recipe for spiritual, emotional and physical breakdown, with negative impact on one's health and peace of mind.  

One of the reasons why it's so important to control our stress levels is that stress is a leading cause of major illnesses.   Cancers,  heart disease, autoimmune diseases, and depression are all associated with stress.   You can read how stress causes and contributes to disease, in this article here.  Many times our prayers for healing go unanswered, because we continue to subject our bodies to the high levels of stress, which continues to trigger the disease process.  Healing cannot take place as long as the the cause of your illness is left untreated, and so, if stress is the trigger to your illness, then no healing will come, as long as the stressor remains.

Stress usually affects us in three forms - physical, social and spiritual.   Physical stressors are those things which affect your health or threaten you with bodily harm.  Examples of physical stressors include illnesses, physical  abuse, physical violence, work stress, physical hazards, feats of physical endurance/challenge, sexual abuse, depression, mental illness, and so on.  Examples of social stress include marriage, divorce, major life events, bad relationships, peer pressure, bullying, emotional and verbal abuse, loneliness, dysfunctional family life, lack of love in one's life, financial abuse, job loss, unemployment, debt, financial troubles, dating anxiety, shyness, social awkwardness, and so on.   Examples of spiritual causes of stress include unforgiveness, lovelessness, ingratitude, complaining, criticizing, fault-finding, judging, worrying, anxiety, wrong-doing, guilt, shame, bad attitudes, negative thinking, hopelessness, spiritual/religious abuse, toxic religion, and so on.  As you can see, the causes of stress are many and varied, and the sooner you address the causes of your stress, the less stress you will have in your life, and the happier your life will be.   

As a spiritual counselor, I help you to pin-point those areas of your life that are causing you stress, and make recommendations for you to get help for those stressful areas of your life.  Very recently, a few months ago, I had a client by the name of Clara* who was under intense stress and severe depression due to being a single, divorced mother with no help to raise her son, and a bad relationship with her son.   The stress became so bad, that she lost her mind, and wanted to end it all.  Luckily for her, I was able to direct her to the appropriate resources and her life was saved.   Not only was her life saved, but she was afterwards able to finish with the spiritual counseling, and her relationship with her son was restored.  Another client by the name of Tammy* was helped by me to relieve stress associated with  a major medical depressive disorder and bipolar depression.   While I do not treat depression, I was able to help Tammy tap into activities and resources to relieve her stress associated with her depression.   

Many of my clients are able to reduce their stress levels by taking one or more of my spiritual coaching programs to address the issues surrounding their stress.   There are at least five spiritual coaching programs that I have, that I use to help clients relieve stress, depending upon the cause of stress.  

Spiritual Renewal Coaching Program - A three-week program that addresses generalized, overall stress.  Perhaps you just have 'bad energy' that is weighing you down, or you are giving out 'stressful vibes', or you are anxious for no particular reason, then this program is good for you.  In the Spiritual Renewal program, I coach you through techniques that will provide you with physical, social, and spiritual relief from stress.   

Spiritual Cleansing Program - A four-week program that addresses stress caused from spiritual attacks.  This program is especially geared for people who feel as if they are under spiritual oppression, and cannot break free from bad luck.    This program is similar to the spiritual renewal coaching program, in that you are coached in techniques to provide physical, social, and spiritual relief from stress, but it also includes spiritual protection to remove the negative spiritual influences out of your life. 

Emotional Baggage Removal Coaching Program - A five-week, extremely specific program, tailored to your personal issues, that addresses past issues causing current stress.  Many people  carry around lots of toxic emotions from past relationships, broken marriages and dysfunctional family dynamics.   The Emotional Baggage Removal Program (EBRP) helps you to remove those toxic emotions out of your life, so that you can live free from the stress of those toxic burdens.   EBRP helps you to remove bitterness, anger, unforgiveness, resentment, negative attachment, MENTAL BLOCKS TO LOVE, and a host of other negative spiritual emotions out of your life.  

Cult deprogramming - A five-week program that addresses the stress caused from being in a toxic religious environment.   It does not have to be a cult for a religious organization to be toxic.  Any mainstream religious organizations can become toxic TO YOU.   As long as the environment is toxic to you, it is going to cause you guilt, shame, fear, worry, anxiety, and rob you of peace of mind.   Cult deprogramming addresses the spiritual mindset that led up to you being in spiritual bondage to an organization, and helps you to become free.  

Spiritual Counseling to Remove Dating Anxiety - A four-week program that addresses the anxiety and the needy/clingy behaviors people tend to display while dating.   The anxiety and clingy/needy behaviors result from having a love-void on the inside.  This program helps you to fill the love-void by "filling up on love" while dating.   

I also offer a Love Coaching Program which teaches you what love is and how to identify love separate from lust and emotional attachment, and Abundance and Prosperity Counseling to relieve financial stress.   My book Surviving a Global Economic Crisis: A Biblical Perspective teaches you how to find inner peace in the midst of global (or personal) economic crisis.  

If you are suffering from stress, and are seeking relief, then perhaps spiritual counseling is what you need, so that you can start enjoying life again, and truly find rest in your soul.   For more information about the programs I offer, please visit my website

*Name changed for privacy

Saturday, May 10, 2014


Rev. Hillary Dawes, PhD, SC-C

"For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace" (Romans 8:6, KJV)

The godly life or the spiritual life is your personal journey in the Spirit to wholeness and inner peace.  Along this journey, there are many bumps in the road, and sometimes it can seem discouraging.  Sometimes it seems like no matter what you do, and how well you follow every thing by the book, things backfire, and you are met with frustration along the way.   Sometimes the setbacks can be so overwhelming that you feel like giving up;  hence the need to know whether you are on the right track or not, so you are not expending needless energy or putting energy into things that do not serve your highest spiritual good.  In this blog, I have developed this list of ten things, as a way to give you guidance along your path, so that you are encouraged in your journey. 

  1. 'WORLDLY' PEOPLE FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE IN YOUR PRESENCE (John 15:18-20).   They can't tell you why they dislike you, even though you are nice and not pushy, and you really do care about people.  Your 'goodness' is a turn off for them, as it makes them feel bad about themselves.  You are too much of a 'goody-two-shoes' as that makes them uncomfortable.  They invariably try to find ways to show you up as a fake or someone disingenuous.  They try to dig up dirt on you so as to bring you to their level. Don't let this kind of persecution and pressure get to you.   If you continue to be consistent in your demeanor, and be your true self, after a while they will leave you alone.  
  2.  YOU ARE MORE INTERESTED IN PEOPLE THAN THINGS (Luke 12:15).  You don't see socializing and having fun with your friends and family as a waste of time.  Jesus was accused of being a party-person, and too sociable (Luke 7:34).   Your goal in life is not to amass tons of wealth but to build good memories with the people in your life, by building strong, solid friendships, relationships, and family (Matthew 16:26). You provide for your family, but you are able to balance work with social time.  
  3. YOUR LOVE IS NOT INSTITUTIONALIZED.  It means you truly love what you are doing, and you are not loving others just because you saw a commandment in the Bible to love others.  It is not a love where you are doing XYZ because Jesus said you are to do those things to show love.   Sharing the gospel, giving Bible studies, preaching to the homeless, and evangelizing are typical institutionalized way to show love to others.  Please bear in the mind that doing those things do NOT require you to love at all, if you are doing them out of obligation to fulfill a command.  As a matter of fact, those things are really duties, and not necessarily acts of love.  If your love for another person is based upon them following your teachings, then is it truly love?  Do you only care for them if they follow your teachings or do you care for them regardless?  Do you call down hell and destruction on them if they do not abide by your doctrines?  A truly spiritual and godly person practices tolerance and love regardless, and does not seek for the destruction of another soul (Luke 9:51-56).  
  4. YOU HAVE ALL THAT YOU NEED FOR THE PRESENT (Philippians 4:19).   The spiritual person does not give into the mindset of lack.   The spiritual person recognizes that all his/her needs are being provided for, and are being met.   The spiritual person has an abundance mentality and not a scarcity mentality. The temporary appearance of lack in the present does not mean a loss of spiritual status for the spiritually-minded person.   The spiritually-minded person is at total peace with God's providence.   
  5. YOU GIVE WITHOUT AN AGENDA TO SATISFY THE EGO (Matthew 6:1-6).   I am not referring to public relations and marketing that companies do to advertise their business or what churches or ministries do to let the public know what services they have to offer, and how they are serving the community.  This is about using your acts of charity to another person to make yourself look good in front of others.  Where the focus is not on the person you are helping but on you, where you use your good deed to make a show of your righteousness before others.  An attitude like that will drive away people from your confidence as the cost of being publicly humiliated is not worth the help you are offering.  I have been in positions where teachers wanted to use me as an exhibit for their class when I obviously did not feel comfortable going up in front.   They were more interested in proving their point for 'educational purposes' without regards for my feeling.  It's difficult to trust people who put you up for show.  If you are the kind of person who is critical, judgmental and condemning, and love to point out the sins of others, do not be surprised that you get 'persecuted' by others.   When you judge or condemn others, it causes you to be condemned back by them in defense.  This is the law of reciprocity in action.   This was why Jesus said, "Judge not that ye be not judged" (Matthew 7:1).   It will all come back to you. Your reward in life is the satisfaction that you get when you help others, and the joy of knowing that another life has been helped.   Having inner joy over the happiness of others  is a sign of spiritual maturity (Romans 15:12).
  6. THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS WITHIN YOU (Luke 17:21).  A lot of folks identify heavily with the churches they attend.   While that is good for the church you attend, it does not say anything about your relationship with God - only your relationship with your church.  Church membership does not equal having the kingdom of God within you.  The kingdom of God is not a building or even a visible place with borders (John 18:36).  The kingdom of God is the life of the Spirit residing in you (Luke 11:20).   It's you being 100% authentic regardless of whether its Sunday morning in church or Monday morning on the job.  Some folks are only 'good people' in church or in front of others, but behind closed doors, they are no different than anyone else.   The Spirit within you is 24-7, and is not something that comes upon you in church that causes you to yell and shout.  The Spirit within you is that Life within you that causes re-birth (Romans 8:5).   In the Spirit-filled life your tendencies change.  You tend to be attracted more to peaceful, loving, and compassionate ways to live.  The fruits of the Spirit manifest more and more in your life (Galatians 5:22-23).  
  7. YOU ARE MORE INTERESTED IN HELPING OTHERS THAN PUSHING DOCTRINES (Matthew 23:25; James 2:14-18).   It always amazes me to see people giving Bible tracts to the homeless and hungry on the streets - preaching to them and yet never offering them any food, clothing or shelter.   While you may have no problem spending money on lots of tracks to share the gospel to people who may  never attend your church, and you might find it difficult to spend the same amount of money to provide a meal to the hungry.   Yes, sometimes they use the money to buy alcohol, cigarettes, etc but you can also help by giving to a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen.  Where I live, we have at least two homeless shelters.  They do an EXCELLENT job of keeping lots of homeless people off the streets, as well as provide spiritual counseling and educational opportunities.  This is the one I support regularly.  And I don't work for them.  I just love what they do for our community.  
  8. YOU DON'T GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO SEEK SPECIAL HONORS FOR YOURSELF (Luke 22:24-27; Matthew 23:1-12).  Nothing is worse than church folks fighting for church office, and using church office as a means to exert power over the lives of people.   A spiritual person is not interested in power grabs, but concerns him/herself with serving others.   You are on the wrong track if your focus is on jockeying for elitist positions in the church to satisfy your pride.  If you are the type of person who does not respect the spiritual gifts of others, but try to outdo others in their gifting or even belittle their gift, you are going the wrong way spiritually.  The body won't thrive if only one  voice or one opinion matters.   Don't be surprised that your church is not seen as a place of community but just a place of hostility.  
  9. YOU DO NOT PRACTICE BLIND FAITH (Matthew 23:24).   Blind faith is following some religious teaching that fails to deliver, yet hoping it will all pan out if one has enough faith.   Insanity is described as doing something over and over again, expecting different results.  If your faith in something is proven false, why do you cling to false hope?  I never understood that concept.  I am tired of hearing Evangelists chastising people for not having enough faith for healing from an illness or for their state of poverty.  The truth is that they are misleading people as to the true state of their affairs. Don't get sidetracked with slick attempts to pull the wool over the eyes of the sheep- buy this anointing oil here or this scarf here to be healed or bring blessings in your life.  Yes, we have all heard this, and many do buy those things, and are no better off than when they started.  Some have even become worse off, as their problems remain unaddressed.   It's so much better to seek counseling whether from your pastor, a spiritual counselor like myself, or a qualified secular counselor for your life problems and for proper guidance, than to buy into hocus pocus.  
  10. YOU ARE WILLING TO LISTEN TO THE POINT OF VIEWS OF OTHERS WITHOUT BECOMING DEFENSIVE OF OWN BELIEFS (Psalm 119:165).   Too many of us are more interested in defending our beliefs than finding out truth.   Your truth and my truth are not always the same, so there is no point in you trying to prove your truth to me, as your truth does not resonate with my truth.  Really,  the root of all these debates is the fear of being wrong, and the fear of being found believing in a lie, so we cling, argue, and provoke each other to anger with ad homien attacks, in order to defend what we believe to be truth.  I love the saying, "Truth needs no defense."  Do you know why?  If something is true, it is going to be evident, and the proof of it being truth lies in its own veracity.  No amount of questioning, analysis, or examining can destroy that which is true, because the more you dig into truth, the more credible it becomes.  On the other hand, truths based upon unproven beliefs or unsupported feelings may not pan out when put to the test.   The enemy to falsehood is truth - not more falsehood.  Truth cannot be destroyed by lies.   The truth will always come out.  You need to get to the place where people can express themselves with you, without you taking it personally, and getting all mad and irate with them.   A truly spiritual person is not bothered or disturbed by differences in opinions (1 Corinthians 11:19).   

In conclusion, the spiritual life leads you to the abundant life of peace, happiness, and joy!  For more information on how to live the abundant life and to get spiritual counseling on the abundant life, please visit my website.